Crying alone...

I was silently in the room and I turn my head.

Suddenly a painful memory struck me,

And a tear fell through my face!

I turn the other way just to catch another one,

And another tear fell,

I was trying to escape looking, searching...

But each time I turn my head a tear would fell.

Suddenly I wasn't crying silently anymore!

It wasn't tears that fell through my face,

But a endless flow of pain and lonelyness...

Sleep

Is when I go to bed that I find it more dificult. Probably it is because I am not used to anymore, and worst I don't want to be.

This is my biggest problem stuck between the reality and my world of dreams.

And my bed turns into my lonely battlefield!

You

I Love you for what you are,
I Love you for what you believe,
I Love you for your mood swings,
I Love you for chasing life, and grabbing it with both hands,
I Love you for your intelligence,
I Love you for your beauty,
I Love you for being a better person than I,
I Love you for making me a better person...

I just love You!

Couple's World

No matter what I do to escape it, everything is a painful reminder of my loneliness!

Crying

I was sitting in the sofa, all alone. Suddenly, without any warning I started to cry.

It seemed that something just died, and I cried louder. And the world started spinning around me, and I cried even more...

I cried until I was breathless...

Imposing life

I try to continue my life, but every single thing makes me remember that I am all alone. And of all things that makes me sad the one that is most painful is when I see that for me to be less lonely I just have to impose my presence in others peoples lives.

More then ever, I now feel that I will fade away quickly. That I will be a vague memory of someone that by chance your path. I know now that is all I will ever be, since I don't wish to live an imposing life!

Silence

After seven years of sound I once again embrace silence. As I return to my empty apartment there is nothing but silence all around.

After seven years I forgot how silence sounds like. Before it was delightful sound that was around me. But that ended and once again I have to learn to live silently.

Death

If I die next week, will you miss me? Will you remember me?

And in my grave will you whisper: "You were special!"? If so, why will you only say that when I cannot hear you, when it will be impossible to me to know?

At that moment I've just died thinking how miserable and irrelevante my life was...

The prison that sets me free

Words! Words are vital to me. It is through words that I can express my feelings, that I can create new worlds. I found out this early in my life, and I embraced them.

I was eager to find all the words that matched my feelings, so I could take them out of me. I was happy while I wrote words. I could be free, free of all the chains that bound me into this world. I could create new places where I would be understood. I could express what I thought without any fear.

But in time I found that I imprisoned myself in words. I found out that words are mere cages of feelings. It happen when I was searching for a word that expressed what I am feeling. I could not find any, so I search all the dictionaries, all the books. Studied every single word and realized that a word is but a prison!

Now I find myself imprisoned by words, but yet these words are still the remaining place where I can be free...

Suicide

I was alone. Someone knocked at my door.

"May I come in?" she asked.
"Who are you?" I replied, to a person who seemed familiar to me.
"Ssshhht, I cannot pronounce my name out loud here, let me in and I will tell you."

I was alone. I needed companionship, so I let her enter my home.

"Who are you?" I asked again as she kissed my face.

"I am the beast of this society, the untold secret, the last companion of many people. I enter gently in life and I free my closest and dearest friends. I make sadness go away. I take the heavy load of this life. I am Suicide..."

"I was expecting you." I whispered as she caressed me...

Welcome to my crib...

Welcome to the darker version of Stran. This is my new home, my public inner home. Here I will write about what I feel, how I am and will have no mental censure of me.

Here I will explore all my feelings, let my saddest, weirdest and unthinkable thoughts become words.

But, if by chance you already read something from my previous blog, or if you only get to know me here don't be afraid, this is but a version of me, the saddest and darker one...